|Posted on February 17, 2013 at 9:50 AM|
I only got around to reading three comics this week. They're listed in order that I liked the least.
By Glenn Brunswick & Whilce Portacio
Oh god this was bad. I'm undecided on which was worse; the art or the story? Now I have not read a Whilce Portacio comic since I was a teenager, very early 90's, and I was never a fan of his work in the first place, but my god the art in this comic is atrocious. Now I am wondering if he was always this bad or is he on his last days as an artist and just churning out this stuff because it's all he can do? Not only was the art bad, but the storytelling, the panel to panel progressions were awful. The panel to panel progression of the comic book medium is possibly the most important asthetic to making comics and if you do it badly it will stand out like a sore thumb. If a new artist makes these kinds of mistakes, they can be forgiven, as a critic you point it out to them and hope they improve on that aspect. But when an artist who's been working in the comics medium for over 20 years is making these kinds of mistakes, it's unforgiveable.
Then the story, oh geezus, I must assume that Image decided to publish this merely on the fact that Portacio was an Image founder, because this story is so stupid and ridiculous that I doubt any other publisher woulda touched this with a 50 ft. pole. Unless you were playing this kinda story for laughs and maybe a little satire which this comic is not. What we get is a darkly serious crime drama which portrays the core story concepts stupidity blatantly in your face.
Here is the concept - Astronauts find a human like bone on Mars, take it back to earth. Unbeknownst to them a strange virus is attached to the bone and it spreads through the air affecting only children. Except the kids don't suffer any ill effects, what happens is the virus enables the kids to give life to their childhood toys and whether that particular kid has a hidden dark side to them or not, the new toys now with life end up either good or bad. And the main characters of this story are cops who hunt down a lot of bad murdering toys. With some humor, this might not have been a bad thing, but as it is...ugh.
So thank you Glenn Brunswick for advancing the comic book field immensely and setting the art of storytelling on fire! Someday in the future dear readers you will see this comic in the 50 cent comic book bins of your local comic shop and I recommend that you still not buy this atrocious comic book.
PETER PANZERFAUST #9
By Kurtis Wiebe and Tyler Jenkins
I've read a lot of hype about this comic from various internet sources and finally got around to picking up an issue. After reading, I'm not sure what this particular story is supposed to mean in the greater tapestry of the ongoing story, but I was definitely not impressed. This takes place in France during the German occupation of WWII, and I'm assuming our main character is the guy held captive and interviewed by the evil German looking guy with the hook hand. Unfortunately I have no idea what the overall story is, why Peter is important to the story, if the guy with the hook hand is the villian of the story, or why I'm reading this comic in the first place.
Personally I love jumping into the middle of a storyline when it comes to comics to test the waters. If I'm not entertained by any one individual story, I'm very likely to just forget about ever picking this comic up again. Many times I'm enthralled by whatever is going on, but many more times I'm disappointed and sad that I wasted money on yet another boring ass comic. Comics are not cheap anymore. That three or four dollars could have gotten me a four pack of Pabst tall boys instead. Or I could have taken a chance on another comic and possibly gotten something more entertaining.
Someday in the future when I open my own comic shop maybe I will have a return policy on comics. Or rent them out for a price so a person is not stuck with a shitty comic for the rest of their OCD comic collecting lives. Or install preview hologram videos for every comic I have on my rack. That way you can press a button and watch a preview of the comic you were thinking of buying, and if you decide it sucks, you can move on to the next one. I woulda liked any of those options before buying this comic.
DEMON KNIGHTS #17
By DC Comics
This is totally silly stuff, but it's not un-entertaining. The art by Bernard Chang is pretty good and the story by Robert Venditti is solid stuff, but nothing more than your typical comic book story in its construction. Our three heroes (some chick from Wonder Womans land, The Shining Knight and Horsewoman, which is a hell of a moniker) battle Vandal Savage for Jason Blood's life. Jason Blood as most of us know is also the demon Etrigan, but in this story Jason is unable to say the magic words to turn himself into Etrigan and save the day. There's some battles, some vampires, and other stuff to the story, but you'll have to read it to get the whole ridiculousness of it.
But all in all it read well. It never got too corny, though it tried to do so on many occasions, and the pace of the story is fast and furious which aids the digestability of a story as superfluous as this.